Anxiety Relief Meditation

I don’t like most guided meditations. This is the only one that works for my anxiety:

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Left-hand traffic

A blank page. I start over typing. And over. So over.

It is flashing green.

Ah, what do you know? So much.

Tell. Show.

I don’t say this. Don’t go.

You don’t. Go. You fly.

I know the view.

Day and night. So mixed up.

Oceans, currencies, visas.

No time. Tmi.

Old music. Sun shining. Tall sky.

Foggy bridges. Your pictures of rain.

No reason to cry.

I don’t analyze this. I’ve never been able

to push over borders.

I just take it for what it is. What it was.

What it’ll never…

Drink that sweet wine and your bitter beer

For me. Like old times.

Will you?

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Your body language shapes who you are

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Embarrassed

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Music and autism

Born prematurely at just 25 weeks, Derek Paravicini has suffered from blindess, learning impairment and severe autism for his entire life. Despite his impairment, Derek has the unique gift of perfect pitch, and is able to play any piece of music after hearing it only once. In 2010, Derek was featured on Stan Lee’s “Superhumans”, whereupon tests verified his musical ability and confirmed his savantism. He began playing the piano at two, and subsequently attended the Linden Lodge School for the Blind in London. He met a piano instructor, Adam Ockelford, on his first visit to the school; recognising his genius, Adam began to teach him. Derek gave his first concert in South London aged seven. Adam is a Professor of Music at the University of Roehampton, the Chair of Soundabout, a charity supporting music provision for young people and founder of the AMBER Trust, supporting visually impaired children in their pursuit of music.

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Grief

Dr. Brené Brown writes in her book, Rising Strong: The Reckoning, The Rumble, The Revolution: “The opposite of recognizing that we’re feeling something is denying our emotions. The opposite of being curious is disengaging. <…> When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending—to rise strong, recognize our story, and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends.”

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Cocoon

And then I loved you

Reached out to you every chance that I got

I learned the spices to please you

In both the bed and the kitchen

 

And then I shared my food and my music with you

My light

My body at night

 

But then you left

Every time

You were busy

Too often

 

And then I got used to waiting

Got tired of waiting

Then stopped

Waiting

On you

 

I started living my life

Hear birds sing

And that wind on my lips was delicious

People smiled at me

Talked to me

Listened

 

Men wanted me

And even though I didn’t want them back

Yet

I started living

 

My heart was beating so hard

And pumping my blood to my vessels

From the lungs breathing spring air

And I lived a full life

Without you

Then you wanted to share

Some thoughts

“Observations”

With me

But I did not care

 

I already lived my full life

Without you

I could not fit you in anymore

Among butterflies in my stomach

From somebody else’s smile.

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